The day progressed in typical shitty fashion, the details I shan't get into. No, instead I've decided to vent a bit, get some issues off my chest so to speak. And while you may not agree with me, you'll read anyway, because I'm sexy...And you love me...
Reverse Road Rage - Have you ever gotten pissed off at someone while driving because YOU did something wrong and another driver called you outon it? Like, have you ever pulled out halfway into the street knowing a line of cars was headed towards you at mach 5, then flipped off the guy who slammed on his brakes and blew his horn at you? Cause if you have, fuck you fucker, I've got your license plate. Shit head...
People Who Ask Your Opinion, And Then Shit On It - I've got someone who does this to me constantly. A typical conversation goes like this...
Other Guy-Hey, what do you think about XYZ brand? Because I think its great!
Chewbacca Lowenstien-XYZ? Well, it has some inherent problems. Poor quality, inferior workmanship, horrible support. It does well with some things, but I'd recomend ABC. Much better track record.
OG-Really? I mean, I know this is your area of expertise, but really?
CL-Yeah, definetly ABC.
OG-Interesting. But I'm going with XYZ cause your wrong.
CL- ...
These people really don't give a damn about what your going to say. They talk to hear themselves do so and thats it. If you know one of these people it is best to agree with them early and often and then watch them squirm as their plan backfires. Make sure to leave extra rope laying around and hold off on boxing in those beams. Fucktards...
Memory Loss - Ok, some people suffer from extreme forms of memory loss, and I'm not really speaking about the ones that wander off in their pajamma's looking for a quart of motor oil and Sunday's crossword puzzle so they can make a sandwhich. I'm talking about members of society who continue to hold jobs yet remain totaly inept at completing projects or managing people do to memory loss. These are the assholes that yell and scream at employees about missing documents only to find them 15 minutes later on their desk, under their coffee. These are the guys who claim theft when they can't immediately remember where they put the car keys. They also tend to be the same jerkoffs who switch sides in an arguement and try to convince you that it was their idea all along.
Impatient Assholes - I got hit in line at a drive through by the car behind me inching up to pay. Think about it...
Well, that will sum it up for now. I've got a fresh box of donuts waiting in the next room that needs some TLC from big daddy.
4 comments:
I have never really probed my own mental state in the automobile until I read this, I'm usually too busy probing other things... (wink wink nudge nudge)
I do believe I often have reverse road rage. Why just this morning.... I can't help that everyone else is an idiot; I always have thee need to attain a faster rate of speed and cut in front of people to get to work 1 minute earlier. I'm pretty bad, but those bastards who drive on the shoulder in traffic or ride the left lane with nobody in front of them while not even attempting to attain the speed limit really get me hot under the top hat!
Matter of fact, back in my day, I can remember cutting people off in my horse and buggy. Back then though there was no finger, you just flung your horses poop bag at the other driver. Ahh, the good days when you could give your form of transportation some water/food for a minimal cost and then give it a good crack of the whip to get going! Rawhide!
Ladies and Gentlemen, SpruceMoose...
Probing other things?! My God, man! There are women and children reading this! The last thing I want to do is read about some guy whom I don't know probing "other things"! I certainly hope you were referring to the radio knobs or seat adjuster. If you're not, sir, well, that's just disgusting! Both hands on the wheel!
What can I say, I am good at multitasking...
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