So there is one really good thing about having to work on a day where most schools and jobs are closed for a holiday. And that would be no traffic. Sure, that might seem petty to some of you, but anyone who commutes more than an hour to work knows what I'm talking about. It's like a little slice of heaven delivered in the ultimate fashion. Extra Sleep...
Well, today is one of those days. I managed to sneak in a good twenty minutes extra this morning and still get to work before schedule! I cruised past schools, convenience stores, and industrial parks without slowing down. And just when I thought that this day could not possibly get any better, I saw God!
Now, I know most of you are thinking, "What the fuck? You saw God? Get out of here!" But it's true, there he was, sitting right above the Turnpike. And you know what he was doing? He was laughing. Not your typical chuckle or even a good belly laugh. No, God was in a full on knee slapping, can't catch my breath, brain-splitting howl. And why was the creator so happy you ask? Let me explain...
You see, as is the case with most days in my commute, I happened upon a car that had completely spun out, the passenger side snuggled up against the concrete barrier, one head light shining southward into the eyes of those north bound drivers. It had to have just happened, because traffic was still moving fairly well. I noticed someone had pulled over to make sure the driver was ok, and he appeared to be so (he won't be after he gets the bill for fixing his tricked out civic...).
At this point, I said, "Self, check this out, an accident, and I managed to miss the traffic! Chewbacca 1, Traffic 0! Whoooohoooo!" And that's when it happened. I can only guess that someone had abused the Holiday Extra Sleep Policy, because there was no reason to be going so fast on such a wonderful morning. I can also guess that the guy liked to drive, because there were five cars on the road around me, all of them which this gentleman felt the need to weave through. And the last thing I could assume about this driver was that he was an asshole.
Why do I say that? Well it appears sir speedy has a thing for rubbernecking...And apparently speeding, weaving through traffic, and rubbernecking don't go to well together. Neither did the asshole's car and the unyeilding cold-hearted bitch of a concrete divider he smashed into.
Dispatcher - I need another tow out to the Turnpike.
Driver - You said it was a one car accident two minutes ago!
Dispatcher - Well now its two.
The fact that this fucktard smacked the barrier because he was staring at another idiot driver who had probably done the same thing instantly re-affirmed my belief in the Almighty. The fact that God came down and had a laugh, well that was just cool.
Well, today is one of those days. I managed to sneak in a good twenty minutes extra this morning and still get to work before schedule! I cruised past schools, convenience stores, and industrial parks without slowing down. And just when I thought that this day could not possibly get any better, I saw God!
Now, I know most of you are thinking, "What the fuck? You saw God? Get out of here!" But it's true, there he was, sitting right above the Turnpike. And you know what he was doing? He was laughing. Not your typical chuckle or even a good belly laugh. No, God was in a full on knee slapping, can't catch my breath, brain-splitting howl. And why was the creator so happy you ask? Let me explain...
You see, as is the case with most days in my commute, I happened upon a car that had completely spun out, the passenger side snuggled up against the concrete barrier, one head light shining southward into the eyes of those north bound drivers. It had to have just happened, because traffic was still moving fairly well. I noticed someone had pulled over to make sure the driver was ok, and he appeared to be so (he won't be after he gets the bill for fixing his tricked out civic...).
At this point, I said, "Self, check this out, an accident, and I managed to miss the traffic! Chewbacca 1, Traffic 0! Whoooohoooo!" And that's when it happened. I can only guess that someone had abused the Holiday Extra Sleep Policy, because there was no reason to be going so fast on such a wonderful morning. I can also guess that the guy liked to drive, because there were five cars on the road around me, all of them which this gentleman felt the need to weave through. And the last thing I could assume about this driver was that he was an asshole.
Why do I say that? Well it appears sir speedy has a thing for rubbernecking...And apparently speeding, weaving through traffic, and rubbernecking don't go to well together. Neither did the asshole's car and the unyeilding cold-hearted bitch of a concrete divider he smashed into.
Dispatcher - I need another tow out to the Turnpike.
Driver - You said it was a one car accident two minutes ago!
Dispatcher - Well now its two.
The fact that this fucktard smacked the barrier because he was staring at another idiot driver who had probably done the same thing instantly re-affirmed my belief in the Almighty. The fact that God came down and had a laugh, well that was just cool.
1 comment:
Listen, Chewy--the next time you see a car accident maybe you should stop. That was me out there! Thanks, jerk off.
PS I give you a 1/2 crushed tomato. I'd give you more, but Twitch might get jealous. :-D
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