That car looks FAST!

Whoa! Look at that Lamborghini! What!? You mean it's NOT a Lamborghini? Quit joshin!

Face it. No matter how hard you try, you are still the proud owner of a Honda Civic. The ram-air hood and lambo doors aren't fooling anybody.

What possesses someone to do this? Does it increase performance? No. Does it make you more appealing to the opposite sex? No. Are you considered "cooler" amongst your peers? Absolutely not! Chances are that they are laughing at you and sleeping with your girl.

While we're on the subject, the Honda Civic is NOT a sports car! I'm sure some of you will say "What about the Si or Type R?" There's no denying that those cars are fun, but they certainly aren't sports cars. If you don't agree with what I'm saying, then you're in denial - the next step is acceptance and then the healing can begin.

So if you own a Civic, listen up because here comes the important stuff...

You're probably thinking that your Honda would be really cool if you installed immitation Altezza tail lights and you would be wrong. You're also thinking that a cheap bodykit is the perfect addition for optimal downforce and again, you would be wrong. You've probably already started saving for a turbo kit and I will tell you right now, you are stupid. Save your money for something important like hookers. Installing a turbo kit on a Civic is kinda like taking a shit on the living room floor - it just doesn't make sense.

If you're still reading this, you probably own a Civic and you're thinking "Twitch! What can I do!?" If you own a stock Civic, then there's still hope. Stay away from the Fast & Furious aisle at Pep Boys and no matter what anybody tells you, LEDs and lambo doors are not "cool mods". However if you already own a "modded" Civic, then all hope is lost. Spare your friends the embarrassment of being seen in public with you and for the love of motorsports, resist the temptation to drag race ANYTHING.