Well, it would appear that my luck, or lack there of, is on par for April. I returned home today to find my bathroom floor soaking wet, the paint peeled from the ceiling and wall, and this month's Maxim ruined. It would appear that a knot has fallen out of my roof and this wonderful weather we are having drove the rain right under the shingles. Luckily for me the hole is over all the electrical outlets and light fixture and not the bathtub. God forbid I had water in the bathtub...On top of this, it would appear that my house is the new east coast ant vacation spot, as approximately 11 million of the little fuckers have taken up residence in and around my home. The best part is, my pest guy can't do shit about it because, you guessed it, we have water in the crawl space.
And to cap off this stellar day I have discovered a new river here on the east coast. Apparently, the bastard has been running underneath my driveway, slowly eating away at the place my car calls home. Thank god that the repair man's truck was heavy enough to break through the asphalt otherwise this gem could have gone undiscovered for another three, maybe four storms!
6 comments:
For pain and suffering, you get five crushed tomatoes.
The rain has us all with our knickers in a twist. My apartment building is slowly becoming an island. I've had to move my car twice, and I have ducks swimming awfully close to the kitchen door. Hope things get sunny for you soon, Chewy--so you can air out. That wet fur can get a little stinky after awhile.
Ahh ha, luckily he only smite you with 3 elements; water, air and earth. Maybe next time you partake in a particular extracurricular activity you will be apprehensive about the wrath in which he can force upon one. Particularly because in the not so distant past he made his thoughts known by having the catholic church say masturbation is a sin!
Perhaps you perpetuate lies and don't in fact even live in a house? A smell shed made out of an old refrigerator box with a scrap piece of wood on top covered with small eucalyptus leaves located on a garbage barge floating down the Hudson? (raises eyebrow for dramatic affect) moohahah
Anyone know what a "smell shed" is?
I believe that "smell shed" is the politically correct term for outhouse.
Chewy lives in an outhouse floating on a barge?! Well, that explains the roof leakage problems right there!
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